4th day after chemo #2

So the second chemo is over and done with, come and gone. It's really starting to feel like I am in the middle of a game and don't understand all the rules and penalties yet. I am way ahead at the finish line of the game without much effort. 

I barely have any side effects so far after the second chemo, beyond the expected fatigue. Now several days in, I am starting to get the tingling and arthritic pains a bit, but nothing dire. And this is now a familiar territory, so easily dealt with. 

The long, long list of side effects -- loss of appetite, vomiting, diarrhea, headaches, fever, coughs, etc. -- have all passed me by so far. I keep waiting for something unexpected to round the corner and slam me. That's the scary part.

I am starting to worry that I don't worry enough or that I am not getting whatever other cancer patients suffer through: no depression, sadness, or feelings of loss, that so many talk about.

I just go on with daily life, like the main course at a great restaurant, with chemo as an obligatory side dish.

Maybe the 3rd chemo, this time with minimal premeds, will rear its real ugly head? 

To get away

Now that I feel the side effects somewhat acutely, and they are not going to get any lighter (on the contrary chemo is cumulative) I offered to run away for two days to RI with George before my next chemo. I couldn't use my arms much because of the arthritic pain, but I reasoned with George that I can just keep them in my pockets and he can do the rest... and it is much better to walk around and take my mind off it vs sitting at home.

Thank God, Gwen is back from college on a winter break and is babysitting Max for two days. 

It is an hour and a half ride, but feels like a different world, away from everything. And it is nice to relax and enjoy this alternative reality, walking down Benefit St in Providence or the Breakers mansion in Newport. 

It was a really needed respite for George, who tends to lock up all his worries, to get away from it all and recharge. 

And two beautiful days with my husband were WONDERFUL!