Friday after

Love Fridays, the day after chemo!

You wake up a bit discombobulated, but there is a full day ahead and often the morning is not as bad as one anticipates. 

Today, I decided not to eat anything to relieve the new ongoing feeling of nausea that now follows me around with this new AC chemo cycle.

However, a friend brought me salmon soup at noon, and it made all the difference in the world. It single handedly put away any nausea and as if I got a new lease on life and was not only able to function normally, I even managed to go to a housewarming party and a birthday party Friday evening!

Chemo follow-up

I am thinking that now I should consolidate my after chemo side-effects follow up post, as it no longer looks like that most of the side effects kick in on the 4th day for me. 

Right now it appears that chemo 8! was the turning/breaking point when the cumulative effect finally kicked in and threw a wrench into my orderly life... After all, until this Thursday my side effects from chemotherapy would pretty consistently fully arrive on the fourth day, and I even started to plan around these days. However, after the 8th chemo I dragged myself home, crawled into bed, and pretty much stayed there for the next three days until Saturday evening. 

Despite my best efforts to shake off the fatigue and get some much-needed rest, it seemed like no amount of sleep was enough. I felt like I was dragging myself through molasses, unable to shake the ever-present feeling of exhaustion that had taken hold of me. And then, to add insult to injury, I lost my appetite on Friday – the first time after chemo that I had actually lost my desire to eat. Sure, I was grateful that I wasn't experiencing any nausea, but losing my appetite was a new and not-so-pleasant sensation.  

But, friends to the rescue -- on Saturday evening a friend of mine came over to make poppy seed cakes and pancakes for my son. And despite the fact that I could barely move, I found the energy to crawl out of bed and join in on the fun. It was a welcome distraction from my current state, and before I knew it, we were trying to learn how to make successful turbans. 

As we laughed and tried different options, I couldn't help but feel grateful for the moment of joy and distraction. Despite the physical challenges, moments like these remind me to embrace the lighter side of life.

After watching countless YouTube videos, we came to the realization that most of them were probably deep fakes and that the only way to actually get a turban to stay on my head was through a coordinated effort between two people. My husband tied one end while I held the other, and with a little teamwork, we finally achieved turban success.

And who would have thought that I would be learning the art of turban tying? Life is full of surprises, and I never know what's going to happen next. Who knows, maybe I'll become a turban expert by the end of it all.

8th chemo

Today was my 8th chemotherapy, and, boy, did I feel it.

As I settled into my corner spot for the 5 hour chemotherapy session, my usual acupuncturist was nowhere to be found, the nurse kept running back to stop the IV beeping.... and I felt like a spent battery on a  smartphone as my body ached, and my brain fogged. As if I was dragging my feet through mud and every step was like a battle. I kept thinking, now I have a name for  myself in this state, the "Fatigue Queen". 

At the same time acknowledging that I have only 4 more sessions to go with this chemo cycle. Something to celebrate.

My book club surprised me with a very generous Grubhub gift card, so by the time we crawled home from chemo we had food awaiting us, and that felt like a godsend.

4th day after 7th chemo

Let me tell you how I like Mondays -- most of the side effects wear off and I have the energy to have a normal life and to tackle mundane everyday tasks! 

This time around the side-effects were the familiar fatigue, it seems to linger a little longer each time. There's nothing like a good movie marathon to help with that. Can you imagine life before Netflix? Reading is too tiring and considering that now I have to wear glasses, headache inducing. 

However, not all was just lying in bed all day. In between the bouts of fatigue I even managed to finally organize the medical bills and that is not a small feat. It requires a skill set that most of us do not possess on a good day, let alone during chemo treatments, yet must navigate nonetheless -- those endless bills, deductions, co-payments, refunds.....

Also, now that the reality of oncoming baldness is here, I tried to learn how to tie turbans, and OMG, they make it look so easy in all those YouTube videos! One, two, three and the perfect turban... after 10 minutes, mine, on the other hand, looked crooked, constantly sliding off or to the side, and looked like something straight out of a zombie apocalypse movie.

So, at some point I gave up, got the wig out of the box and gave it a hair cut, as it seems that wearing it at least sometimes will be inevitable. Trying to embrace the chaos and have a little fun with it...

And, those mouthwatering dishes sent by Anya 💓, the cooking angel, were enough to make any foodie drool. It's like a warm hug from the inside out, nourishing not just the body, but the soul.

All together I think, my side-effected weekend was pretty great!

7th chemo

Good morning sunshine! Rise and shine, it's time for my 7th round of chemo-licious adventure. I stumbled out of bed, slathered the lidocaine cream over the port and went back to bed.  I have to apply the cream an hour and a half before the blood draw, and considering that today's appointment was at 7:30.... you get the idea. So, at 6:50 am I threw on my favorite superhero cape (a.k.a my comfy front zipped sweatshirt for easy access to a port, but need to get another one of these) and headed off to conquer cancer.

At the infusion center, I was greeted by my trusty chemo team who were ready to pump me full of goodness. As they hooked me via port, I noticed I was feeling a bit more tired than usual and dizzy, which is new for me, but I refused to let it dampen my spirits. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and started humming my own theme song. And then I realized what was missing -- yummy food to fuel my body and keep my strength up. George got me a huge salad from Sweetgreens and life started to look much better. Salad is not congee (my super crazy craving lately) but it is much better than the days of bland chips and breakfast bars offered at the Dana Farber center. I'm a salad connoisseur now!

Before I knew it, the infusion was over and I made it home by 2 pm and spent the rest of the day indulging in some well-deserved rest.

I snuggled up in bed with a good book, "The Forty Rules of Love" by Elif Shafak, and allowed my mind to wander into a world of love and adventure, or at least trying to get sucked in.

The Care and Feeding of a Cancer Patient: How Love and Food are Keeping Me Alive

Feeling like a well-cared-for plant, with daily check-ins from everyone through text, WhatsApp, and calls.

And a never-ending supply of delicious food, from borscht to baklava to japchae to blini to pierogi and sauerkraut, just to name a few.

One of these days, when cancer is all behind me, I'll have to give a shout-out to EVERYONE who thought about me, called me, checked in on me, and brought me food. That would be a long list...

I mean, I'm not even that great of a plant, I forget to water myself sometimes, but the love and support from everyone is like a little protective circle and it makes a huge difference. Even though I am not depressed or struggling mentally or feeling desperate, like a lot of people with cancer that I know, this circle of support is invaluable.

I keep thinking that I don't deserve it as much, as my hair is still intact, my side effects are all manageable (normally just one day off) and I even get to go to New Year celebrations, being it the new one, the old one or Chinese one...

All I keep thinking that I am just lucky in so many ways and I am grateful for it!!!

Friends embrace

I am so lucky to have friends (and I have yet to share my diagnosis with the majority) that just embraced and supported me from the get go with little fuss. 

Soups and salads, sacred food from a temple, boxes of persimmons and pomelos and pomegranates, rides to/from hospitals or dropping Max off here or there... 

And I am still fully functioning, for now just spending endless hours in and out of the hospital with numerous tests and on the phone with insurance.

No outward visible signs of any trouble in paradise, but the circle of embrace really invaluable.